HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 20, 2125

(Total Attendance: 5,508)

* Daisy Graze made Calico tap out to THE F'EWE.

* Party Harty pinned Black Sheep when Black Sheep missed a running shoulder attempt while Harty was trapped in the turnbuckle in a match where the winner won the permanent services of Daisy Graze. Suffice it to say, a grateful Daisy Graze is no longer a member of The Flock.

* The Shipwrecks defeated the Blue Dragon Dojo when Valdez pinned Saiji Takahashi with OF THE WORLD.

* Flock member Bruder Galgen pinned Hefhawg by rolling through a deathjump cross body press attempt. Hefhawg didn't seem to be too much into the match, perhaps because he's still mourning the death of his fiance, Misty Monen, who died in a hovercar crash last week on Andromeda.

* The Kings of the Swamp defeated Snake Oil when Ali Ga'Tor pinned Flam with the Swampfest.

* Fey Linn pinned Maiden patriot with the SPELLCASTER.

*

Colly Flower defeated Kailani by disqualification to successfully defend the PIP Ladies title when Kailani repeatedly whipped Colly Flower into the security barrier.

*

Davey Storm pinned Salami Joe with a military press drop to successfully defend the PIP Heavyweight title.

* MAIN EVENT[/U][/I]

Zero Gravity successfully defended the PIP Tag Team titles, defeating the Progressives when Guy-Koh was counted out after Shooting Star nailed him on the floor with a springboard moonsault.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 24, 2125

(Total Attendance: 8,200)

* Scott Creed pinned Big Poppa Roach with MY SACRIFICE.

* Razorback pinned Gangurru with the PON HOSS POUNCH. (Note--Someday, pigwrestling, you're going to have to explain the meaning of that finisher name to me, because I don't get it--DPB)

* The Samoan Vice Squad defeated the Ark Angels when S'Nunu pinned Gabriel with a head butt to the chest..

* Dewie Cheatham had to ALWAYS CHEAT again this week to get the victory over Herman Glopp, hitting him with brass knucks this week to score the pin.

* The Destructive Forces defeated Road-Rayge when Tornado pinned Roadkill with a "Category 5" VORTEX-PLEX.

* Hurricane made Sheik Khalid Sirhan submit to a Boston Crab.

*

Victor E. is still the HWA Tri-Planetary champion after pinning Ace Endehole with the VICTOR E. PRESS.

*

The Annihilators walked out of the HWA Arena with the HWA Tag Team titles still strapped around their waists after defeating the TNT Boyz after Terry was counted out following a springboard moonsault to the floor by Krogon.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/u][/i][/center]

Despite being attacked by Generation Swine earlier in the match after he nailed the LAW REVIEW, Harvard Yale was able to defeat Boss Hawg by count out.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
"LADIES NIGHT ON MONDAY NIGHTS"
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 26, 2125

(Total Attendance: 6,642)

* Holly Pena pinned Abercrombie [censored] with the PICANTE.

* The Sisters of Pain defeated Everything Nice when Jenna Love pinned Sugah with the KISS OFF.

* The Molto Bellas defeated 'Nuff's Enough when Bella Nora pinned Justine Nuff, who knocked herself out when she missed a running shoulder tackle attempt into the turnbuckle.

* Esther-Jenn defeated the Walk of Fame when Jenn pinned Holly Wood with the PAP SMEAR.

* Sarah N. Dipity defeated Demiah the Devil's Daughter by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring.

* The Sisters At Heart defeated the Queen Bees by disqualification when the referee caught the Bees performing their illegal "mask switch".

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Val Hailey with the BOOTY BOMB.

*

The C&C Connection successfully defended the HWA Ladies Tag straps against the Jackson Jills when Chandra pinned Julie with a pumphandle slam.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/i][/u]
[/center]

Val Kira pinned Shannon Egans with VAL KIRA'S RIDE to walk out of the HWA Arena with the HWA Ladies title still wrapped around her waist.

---

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION RANKINGS
(For the period ending July 26, 2125)

CHAMPION[/u]: Warren Peace

CHAMPION[/u]: Victor E.

1. Harvard Yale
2. Hurricane
3. Ace Andehole
4. Dewie Cheatham
5. Sheik Khalid Sirhan
6. Herman Glopp
7. Razorback
8. Scott Creed
9. Gangurru
10. Big Poppa Roach
11. Boss Hawg

CHAMPIONS[/u]: ANNIHILATORS (Pthalos/Krogon)

1. Road-Rayge (Roadkill/Rayge)
2. Destructive Forces (Volcano/Tornado)
3. Ark Angels (Michael/Gabriel)
4. Samoan Vice Squad (S'Nunu/Tika)
5. SlamPigs (Boar/Wart)
6. TNT Boyz (Tracey/Terry)

CHAMPION: Val Kira

1. Shannon Egans
2. Val Hailey
3. Bootylicious Bertha
4. Sarah N. Dipity
5. Demiah the Devil's Daughter
6. Abercrombie [CENSORED]
7. Holly Pena

CHAMPIONS: C&C CONNECTION (Chandra & Carissa)

1. Jackson Jills (Julie/Peppermint Patty)
2. Queen Bees (Beatrice/Beulah)
3. Sisters At Heart (Ambrosia/Desiree)
4. Sisters of Pain (Jenna Love/Debbie Hate)
5. Walk of Fame (Barbie Blaze/Holly Wood)
6. Molto Bellas (Bella Donna/Bella Nora)
7. 'Nuff's Enough (Justine & Tuffy Nuff)
8. Esther-Jenn (Esther-Jenn)
9. Everything Nice (Sugah/Spyce)

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
(An HWA Developmental Territory)
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 27, 2125

(Total Attendance: 9,984)

Since last week, HWA & PIP owner Vincent Shawn Helmsley did a little "house cleaning" in PIP, releasing several teams and wrestlers from their PIP contracts because they "weren't performing up to his standard." Among those released were:

- King Kobra
- Billy B.
- Ugly Coyote
- "Big Kitty Snooze No-Sell" Kevin Gnash
- 666
- Devil's Reject
-Dingo

- DEADLY SINS
- MASTERS OF DARKNESS
- SNAKE OIL
- SURF'S UP
- KILLER WHALES
- PROGRESSIVES

In their place, he signed the following wrestlers and teams:


- Chad Angel

- EMPIRE ELITE (Mars & Caligula)
- TANGLED WEBBS ("King of the Cage" Josh Webb & "Asswhippin'" Adam Webb)
- VINDICATORS (Wesley Poe & Kincade)

* In the first match, Party Harty took on the debuting Chad Angel. During the match, Black Sheep came down to ringside and distracted Harty, causing Harty to attempt a suicide dive through the ropes onto Black Sheep. Unfortunately for Harty, Black Sheep manged to step out of the way and Harty crashed to the floor, which helped set Chad up to pick up the pinfall victory on Party Harty with the LIGHTS OUT.

* It took 3 CLOTHESLINEs FROM DOGGY HEAVEN for Saint Bernard to pin the Samoan Hippo Savage Umagapotamus.

* The Blue Dragon Dojo defeated the debuting team of the Tangled Webbs by disqualification following a brawl outside the ring beteeen Tokimasu Matsudaira and Josh Webb.

* The Empire Elite made a successful debut by defeating the Kings of the Swamp when Caligula made Croc Od'Ile submit to the Imperial Crab.

* Bruder Galgen made a successful return to in-ring action when he pinned Bayne with the S.O.B.

* Fey Linn defeated Maiden Patriot by count out after hitting her with a springboard moonsault to the floor.

*

Colly Flower successfully defended the PIP Ladies title when she pinned Kailani after an incredible back-and-forth battle with the DOG'S DAY. After the match, Colly offered to shake Kailani's hand, only when Kailani took it, she inexplicably hit her with a short arm clothesline and then repeatedly stomped on her head until Maiden Patriot came down to the ring to talk some sense into Kailani. It appeared as if Maiden Patriot was successful, but as she turned around to check on Colly, Kailani spun her around and nailed her with the TROPICAL STORM before leaving the ring to the jeers of the crowd.

*

Zero Gravity held onto the PIP Tag Team titles, defeating the Damn Dirty Apes by count out when Hyperdrive nailed G-Rilla on the floor with a springboard moonsault.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/u][/i]
[/center]

Salami Joe became the new PIP Heavyweight champion when he HOG TIED Davey Storm for the tap out victory.

---

RANKINGS
(For the period ending July 27, 2125)

*

CHAMPION: Salami Joe

1. Davey Storm
2. Bayne
3. Bruder Galgen
4. Perry Noya
5. Saint Bernard
6. Mousawa
7. Chad Angel
8. Party Harty
9. Umagapotamus
10. Epsilon Beta

*

CHAMPION: ZERO GRAVITY (Hyperdrive/Shooting Star)

1. BLUE DRAGON DOJO (Saiji Takahashi/Tokimasu Matsudaira)
2. DAMN DIRTY APES (G-Rilla/Chimpan-Z)
3. KINGS OF THE SWAMP (Croc Od'Ile/Ali Ga'Tor)
4. EMPIRE ELITE (Mars/Caligula)
5. ANIMOSITY (Virtue/Flaw)
6. LAX (Skrit/Bandito) [Pouch has decided to enter the singles competition]
7. TANGLED WEBBS (Josh & Adam Webb)
8. SHIPWRECKS (Valdez/Titanic)
9. VINDICATORS (Wesley Poe/Kincade)


*

CHAMPION: Colly Flower


1. Fey Linn
2. Kailani
3. Maiden Patriot
4. Pearl E. Gates
5. Alison Chainz
6. Princess Barbelle
7. Mynx
8. Chickfighter
9. Ginger Snaps
10. Lucy Kannin

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

July 31, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,614)

Before the first match took place, HWA owner/commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley came down to ringside and announced that he had released Generation Swine from the HWA because they "didn't live up to his expectations." (Translation: They couldn't beat Harvard Yale on a consistent basis and keep him from challenging for the HWA title.)

* Big Poppa Roach pinned Gangurru with the ROACH MOTEL. After the match, a brawl ensued between the two until Harvard Yale entered the ring and helped Gangurru give Big Poppa Roach a double clothesline before Gangurru repeatedly gave Roach the WALKABOUT, putting him out of action for 5 shows. Mr. Helmsley came down to ringside and announced that because Harvard "stuck his nose where it didn't belong", he was going to have to face a mystery opponent tonight.

* Scott Creed pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan with an Asai moonsault.

* Herman Glopp defeatated Dewie Cheatham by disqualification when the referee caught Dewie ALWAYS CHEATing by giving Herman a chair shot to the head.

* The Samoan Vice Squad defeated the Destructive Forces when Tika pinned Volcano with the SAMOAN SMASHER.

*

Road-Rayge became the new HWA Tag Team champions, defeating the Annihilators when Rayge pinned Krogon with the DEVASTATION.

*

Victor E. successfully held onto the HWA Tri-Planetary title when he defeated Ace Endehole by count-out following a springboard moonsault to the floor.

* Apparently, Mr. Helmsley has raided the talent roster of another promotion, as he brought in Shawn Harrigan from BCW to deal with Harvard Yale. It seemed as though he made a good investment, as Harrigan pinned Yale with THE BEST FINISHER EVER. After the match, Gangurru decided to return the favor from earlier this evening, as he came down to ringside while Harvard and Shawn were still brawling in the ring and give Harrigan a double clothesline so that Harvard could repeatedly give Harrigan the LAW REVIEW, putting him out of action for 6 SHOWS.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/U][/I]
[/center]

Warren Peace pinned Hurricane with the PEACE TREATY to successfully defend the HWA Heavyweight title.

[Dr B]

Great card that Gangurru run in was totally unexpected.

Dr B

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
"LADIES NIGHT ON MONDAY NIGHTS"
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

August 2, 2125

(Total Attendance: 9,912)

* 'Nuff's Enough defeated Everything Nice when Tuffy Nuff pinned Spyce with a blockbuster.

* Esther-Jenn defeated the Molto Bellas when Esther pinned Bella Nora with the MENOPAUSE.

* Walk of Fame defeated the Sisters of Pain by disqualification when Debbie Hate gave Barbie Blaze the Brainbuster in order to save Jenna from being pinned by the B-MOVIE BLAST.

* The Sisters At Heart defeated the Queen Bees by disqualification when the referee caught the Bees attempting their illegal "mask switch".

* Sarah N. Dipity defeated Holly Pena by count out following a springboard moonsault to the floor.

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Abercombie [censored] with the BOOTY BOMB.

* Demiah the Devil's Daughter pinned Val Hailey with the DEVIL'S SEED.

*

The C&C Connection defeated the Jackson Jills when Carissa pinned Peppermint Patty after she and Chandra executed a double military press slam on Patty as the referee was escorting Julie back to her corner after saving Patty from being pinned by the SOCCER KICK.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/U][/I]
[/center]

Shannon Egan started the match by throwing the current HWA Ladies champion Val Kira into the ropes and attempting to give her a flying shoulder tackle, but Kira countered by giving Shannon a stun gun and then pinning her by way of VAL KIRA'S RIDE to succesfully defend the title.

[Dr B]

C&C defeats Jackson Jills again and retain the Tag Titles!

Great Card!

Dr B

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

August 3, 2125

(Total Attendance: 9,984)

* Brown Starfish made LAX reserve member Pouch tap out to the CORNHOLE MUTILATION.

* Daisy Graze made Dolly Lamma tap out to THE F'EWE.

* "Krazee" Kay Oss pinned Calico with a Frankensteiner.

* Dustin DeWind pinned Big [censored] Murdock with the POINT OF KNOW RETURN.

* Hefhawg pinned Black Sheep with a hurricanrana, but then after the match, he went wild and repeatedly used the MONEY SHOT, putting Black Sheep out of action for 4 shows. HWA/PIP owner/commissioner Vincent Shawn Helmsley suspended Hefhawg for 5 shows.

* Flexicon pinned Slap Stick with MR. UNIVERSE.

* Halle Burton pinned Ginger Snaps with the ILLEGAL BRIEFS.

* Chickfighter pinned Lucy Kannin with the ASS-SAULT.

* Epsilon Beta defeated Boogie Lou by disqualification when Boogie Lou repeatedly whipped Epsilon Beta into the security barrier.

* The Vindicators (Wesley Poe/Kincade) defeated LAX when Kincade hit the MANDIBLE CLAW SLAM on Skrit, but when Bandito ran in to make the save, Kincade smashed their heads together and covered Skrit for the 3-count.

* Animosity defeated the Shipwrecks when Flaw pinned Valdez by way of Flawed.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/u][/i]

RE-MATCH

Salami Joe HOG TIED Davey Storm for the submission victory to successfully defend the PIP Heavyweight title.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

August 7, 2125

(Total Attendance: 4,970)

* The Ark Angels defeated the TNT Boyz when Gabriel pinned Terry with a double team pyramid bomb with Michael as the referee was putting Tracey back in his corner after saving Terry from GOD'S WILL.

* The Destructive Forces defeated the Samoan Vice Squad when Tornado pinned Tika with a "Category 2" VORTEX-PLEX. After the match, the HWA Tag Team champions Road-Rayge ran down to the ring with steel chairs and blasted Volcano with a con-chair-to before tossing them in the middle of the mat and helping Tika deliver repeated triple-team spike versions of the pyramid bomb on top of the chairs. They then added insult to injury when Rayge picked Tornado up for a Samoan Drop and allowed Roadkill to sit him on his shoulders, only to have Tika sit Roadkill on his own shoulder in order to deliver the first-ever triple-team SAMOAN SMASHER onto the steel chairs. When it was all over, Tornado was put on a stretcher and will be out of action for 8 shows. HWA owner/commissioner ruled that he's going to re-visit this issue after 3 shows, as he was "too busy trying to find ways to keep this 'two-bit promotion' from going under" (which can only mean that he's looking for some more ways to punish not only Harvard Yale, but now Gangurru for his coming to Harvard's aid last week and helping to injure Shawn Harrigan, which is probably the reason why he didn't book either wrestler on today's card).

* Herman Glopp defeated Sheik Khalid Sirhan by disqualification when the referee caught Khalid putting a gash in Herman's head with a sharp object that he tried to conceal in his hand.

* Dewie Cheatham made Ace Endehole submit to a belly-to-back bearhug, but then after the match, Sheik Khalid Sirhan made another appearance in the ring and performed double deathjumps on Ace in the middle of the ring with Dewie, putting Endehole out of action for 6 shows.

*

Scott Creed became the new HWA Tri-Planetary champion when he pinned Victor E. with MY SACRIFICE.

*

The Annihilators re-captured the HWA Tag Team titles from Road-Rayge when Krogon pinned Roadkill with the FRANKEN-KROGON.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/u][/i]
[/center]

Warren Peace is still the HWA Heavyweight champion when he pinned Hurricane with the ART OF WAR.

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
"LADIES NIGHT ON MONDAY NIGHTS"
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

August 10, 2125

(Total Attendance: 7,002)

* Abercrombie [censored] pinned Holly Pena with a running spear.

* Everything Nice defeated the Sisters of Pain when Sugah pinned Jenna Love with the EYE CANDY. After the match, Holly Pena slid into the ring and helped Sugah perform double deathjumps on Jenna, putting her out of action for 5 shows.

* The Molto Bellas defeated 'Nuff's Enough when Bella Nora pinned Tuffy Nuff with the BELLA NOCHE KISS.

* During the match between Esther-Jenn and Walk of Fame, visible tension could be noted between Barbie Blaze and Holly Wood, as Barbie pretty much "hogged the spotlight" for most of the match by dominating most of the in-ring action before finally tagging in Holly, who eventually pinned Jenn with the Hollywood Hangover.

* The Queen Bees defeated the Sisters At Heart when "Beulah" (we're not sure if it really was Beulah or not, since the Bees managed to successfully pull off their illegal "mask switch" after two weeks of failed attempts) pinned Ambrosia with the DRONE'S DEMISE.

* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Val Hailey with the BOOTY BOMB.

*

The C&C Connection defeated the Jackson Jills to walk out of the HWA Arena with the HWA Ladies Tag belts still secured to their waists when, after Julie entered the ring to save Peppermint Patty from the CRESCENT KICK, Chandra smashed their heads together and pinned Patty.

*

MAIN EVENT

Val Kira pinned Shannon Egans with VAL KIRA'S RIDE to remain the HWA Ladies champion.

[barnestormer]

PINFALLS IN PARADISE
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

August 10, 2125

(Total Attendance: 9,840)

* Flexicon made Epsilon Beta tap out to MR. OLYMPIA.

* Mousawa pinned Chad Angel with the Mouse Driver.

* Perry Noya pinned Saint Bernard with the TRUST ISSUES.

* The Elite Empire defeated Animosity when Caligula pinned Flaw with THE RISE & THE FALL.

* The Damn Dirty Apes defeated the Kings of the Swamp when Croc Od'Ile was counted out following a springboard moonsault to the floor by Chimpan-Z.

* Party Harty pinned Bruder Galgen with the BOMBED SWAN.

* Alison Chainz defeated Mynx by disqualification when Mynx repeatedly whipped Alison into the security barrier.

* Princess Barbelle pinned Pearl E. Gates when Pearl missed a running shoulder tackle attempt into the turnbuckle.

* Umagapotamus pinned Bayne with the SAMOAN HIPPO SPIKE.

* Maiden Patriot defeated Kailani in a grudge matchn when she pinned her with the MAIDEN MISSILE.

*

Colly Flower barely managed to walk out of the HWA Arena with the PIP Ladies title when she pinned Fey Linn after an incredible match with the DOG'S DAY.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/i][/b]
[/center]

Zero Gravity successfully defended the PIP Tag Team titles, defeating the Blue Dragon Dojo by disqualification when Tokimasu Matsudaira repeatedly whipped Shooting Star into the security barrier.

[Kelly Monro]

I love the action here in HWA! It is fast and furious. Keep it up!

[Dr B]

Another great card!

Dr B

[barnestormer]

HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars

August 14, 2125

(Total Attendance: 3,816)

* The TNT Boyz defeated Road-Rayge when Terry pinned Roadkill with the IMPLOSION.

* Herman Glopp pinned Sheik Khalid Sirhan with the GLOPP DROP.

* Hurricane pinned Dewie Chetham with the CYCLONE SLAM.

*

RE-MATCH

Victor E. pinned Scott Creed with the VICTOR E. PRESS to re-capture the HWA Tri-Planetary title.

*

The Anihilators defeated the Ark Angels to successfully defend the HWA Tag Team titles when Krogon pinned Michael with the FRANKEN-KROGON.

*

MAIN EVENT

[/i]
[/center]

After several months of dealing with Mr. Helmsley's antics, Harvard Yale's efforts finally bore fruit as he pinned Warren Peace with the Hasty Pudding to become the new HWA Heavyweight champion.