W3 Superstars

[todd]

W3
SUPERSTARS
Sponsored by Grandma Granny’s Lemonade

The Big Picture

The show begins with the announcement of the first big W3 pay per view Brain Freeze. Last week’s show started out centering around the number one contenders for the Ultimate and W3 ladies titles but went off in a wacky direction. This week things seem to be back on track this week with a non title match between The Kitty Cat Golem Frankenpuss and W3 champion Flex Manley as the main event.
The main event turned out to a shocker with Frankenpuss beating the W3 Champion clean with a gorilla press backbreaker followed by a FRANKENHAMMER. As big of a star as Manley is he seemed outmatched and over powered by the challenger.

Other Stuff

The W3 really seems to have a thing for bad opening matches and this week was no different. Thunderball showed everyone despite her advanced age she still can mix it up in the ring dominating Cap’n Bootilicous in a very one sided match and winning easily with VITAMEATAGIM. The highlight of this contest (if it really had one) took place after The match was over when the hoeless pimp Smoothupinya came out to proposition the girls. Cap’n Bootilicious bitch slaps Smoothupinya and Thunderball follows up with a MaGillicutter

- Also announced on tonight’s show a MITB Ladder Match will take place at BRAIN FREEZE. In the first qualifying match John L Skeleton got the best of Cosmic Ray with GLOVES ARE OFF. Cosmic Ray put up a good fight but was outmatched by John L Skelton’s defensive skills. As much as I wanted to see a Blind Man in a ladder match it’s not going to happen this time

- - The Fighting Mad Hippie continues his pursuit of W3 owner Phineas Phatback and is duped again by Phatback’s assistant Dicky Cravatte. Later on in the show The Fighting Mad Hippie is seen walking across the street to a pay phone shortly before the arena is cleared out due to an anonymous bomb scare. Highlights from the W3 rumble are shown to fill the time during the evacuation and bomb squad investigation

- - Octopus Johnson comes out to the ring and makes a challenge for anyone to step up and break out of his Octopus Hold. Amish Robot accepts the challenge but doesn’t stand a chance. Amish Robot struggles to free himself but Johnson maintains the hold until Amish Robot blacks out. The crowd seems to really enjoy this segment never questioning how a robot can lose consciousness . The whole thing seemed really dumb to me

- The Oak Ridge Monster falls short of his W3 rumble performance with a disappointing match against Johnny Satan. Satan is obviously the better worker and takes delight in slowly beating and punishing his opponent. The Oak Ridge Monster mounts a comeback with just for kicks and an American made suplex but goes down with a BEALZE BOMB. After the match the arena lights go out again and when they come back on Johnny Satan finds himself standing in a pool of blood

- Thundermug makes a great entrance riding to the ring on a huge chopper decorated with animal skins and human skulls. Thundermug the mic to address the crowd when he’s drowned out by a hug pop from the crowd for ALX. ALX offers a handshake to start the match but gets a mouthful of ale spit in his face instead. This is a great back and forth match with ALX getting 3 near falls 2 with backslide pins and one with a civil war slam. Thundermug also has 3 near falls two with belly busters and one with a Viking spike. The big finish comes when ALX powers out of a longboat stretch , pummels Thundermug with Mounted Rushmore punches and hits Emancipation Devastation

Quick Results
Thunderball def Cap ‘N Bootilicious *
John L Skeleton def Cosmic Ray (MITB Qualifying Match) **
Johnny Satan def The Oak Ridge Monster *1/2
ALX def Thunder mug ****
Frankenpuss def Flex Manley (non title) ***

Biggest Heat - Thundermug
Biggest Pop - ALX

Overall 8/10
This week’s show focused more on the action than silly promos and prematch nonsense. I thought the matches were much better quality with ALX vs. Thundermug being the best match of the show and there seems to be a decent build beginning for Brain freeze . On the down side the opening match was a real stinker for the second week in a row and I’m not sure what’s going on with the ladies division but it could really use a swift kick in the ass

[WTIC]

Good stuff!

How do you figure out Biggest Heat and Biggest Pop?

[todd]

Mar 21, 2011 18:41:48 GMT -5 WTIC said:

Good stuff!

How do you figure out Biggest Heat and Biggest Pop?

I just went by how the matches went

[todd]

W3 SUPERSTARS
Sponsored By
Pillchard Black Angus Burgers

The show opens with Phineas Phatback making an official announcement that Dicky Cravatte has been promoted to general manager of W3 Superstars. The crowd has no reaction to speak of and could seem to care less. I have to agree with the audience on this one. The main event on tonight’s show is a big contract signing between W3 champion Flex Manley and Frankenpuss. The signing is uneventful and goes off without a hitch until Doctor Mutato splashes Manley in the face with some sort of green chemical which looks a lot like Listerine to me but whatever. Frankenpuss pummels Manley and body slams him through the table. The show ends with Manley rolling around the ring with his hands over his face and General Manager Dicky Cravatte making an announcement on the video screen that Manley will be defending his title at Brain Freeze in a tables, ladders, and chairs match !

Other Stuff

- the first match of the night is newcomer Mini Moto The Piggybank Ninja squaring off against The Master Of Chimp Fu Monkey Chan. Monkey Chan kicks out of a perfectly executed spike piledriver and comes back with 2 Chimpansteiners which should have ended the match both times if it wasn’t for Eep Eep putting Mini Moto’s foot across the ropes and pointing it out to referee Millie Swimsuit. This match was fast paced with lots of action and a good opener for a change. Mini Moto gets the win here with a

MITB Qualifying Matches
In the first MITB qualifying match of the night the unfrozen caveman Oog makes quick work of Severe Wu Ping with a PREHISTORIC PLUNGE to qualify for the MITB ladder match at Brain Freeze. . If the W3 really wanted OOG in qualify that badly they should have just given him a bye instead of making us watch him bury a loser like Severe Wu Ping. This match was unnecessary and a complete waste of time.
The next MITB qualifying match of the night was much better with underdog Johnny Gizmo defeating Busta Capp. After Gizmo’s quick elimination in the W3 rumble and the beating he took last week at the hands of Octopus Johnson I honestly didn’t expect him to be very high on the card. This was a solid match that really got the fans pumped up for the rest of the show.

- You could literally hear a pin drop after the match when color commentator Buddy Hotpants stands up and asks Busta Capp how it feels to be put over by a Mogwai.
Busta Capp dives over the announce table at Hotpants and the two brawl on the ground until security breaks it up

- Suspected of being behind last week’s bomb scare The Fighting Mad Hippie finds himself banned from the arena. He leaves quietly but returns later in the show with a group of long haired sign waving protesters. As his first official act as general manager Dicky Cravatte summons Phineas Phatback’s elite security team The Knuckleheads to follow him outside to help take care of business. The knuckleheads scare off the protesters but then somehow end up fighting with each other as Cravatte beats The Fighting Mad Hippie with a garbage can lid and punishes him with a Cravatte Cross Face. This segment was ok and I really enjoyed watching the knuckleheads. I think they’d make a much better a comedy team than a group of tough guy enforcers

- Suzy Succubus and Thunderball square to determine Mona Mammeries opponent at Brain Freeze. The match isn’t too bad but nothing great. Succubus hits two Succubusters and gets a surprise pin attempt with a pantie grab and roll up. Thunderball dominates the action and wins with VITAMEATAVEGIM.

Quick Results
Mini Moto def Monkey Chan **1/2
Oog def Severe Wu Ping * (MITB qualifying match)
Johnny Gizmo def Busta Capp *** MITB qualifying match)
Thunderball def Suzy Succubus *½ (number one contenders match)

[todd]

W3 SUPERSTARS
SPONSORED BY
Manchovies Anchovies

This 3 hour edition of W3 Superstars opens with Ultimate Champion Flex Manley and W3 Ladies Champion Mona Mammeries cutting promos in the ring about their upcoming opponents and title defenses at Brain Freeze. This leads to a face to face confrontation with the challengers (Thunderball and Frankenpuss) and a then to a double main event with surprising results. Frankenpuss defeating Flex Manley by count out and Thunderball defeating Mona Mammeries with VETAMATAVIGIM

OTHER STUFF

- Smothupinya cuts a promo in the middle of the ring announcing a new W3 concept called the diva challenge. Smoothupinya will be overseeing the challenge which features two teams of 4 future diva‘s competing for a spots on the W3 roster and a large cash prize. The two teams will compete against each other for the next six weeks in a series of matches and challenges. The team with the highest point total at the end of week six will be declared the winners. Both teams come out for a brief introduction

Team Cookiepuss

Kween Squatfish Cookiepuss, Eager Beaver, Beulah Gorillacutty, Fifi Cheveaux Aissle

Team Sayanora

Haiku Sayanora, Wild Thang, Gumslinger, Rhinestone Cowgirl

- Following this announcement we see The Goddess Of Wrestling Artemis Jubblies in her W3 debut squaring off against Cap’n Bootilicous. This is the best in the ring performance I’ve seen so far by Bootilicious getting near falls with 2 SUPER RUMP BUSTERS and a first turnbuckle leg drop. Jubblies manages to turn things around with a pair of sidewalk slams and a OLYMPIA FULL NELSON for the win.

- In the fourth of five MITB qualifying matches Octopus Johnson defeated Sheik Yerbouti with ink spray followed by an Octopus Hold. Sheik held his own throughout the match but his inexperience was a big factor in the loss.

- Busta Capp comes out calls out color commentator Buddy Hotpants challenging him to a match on the spot. Buddy Hotpants with a cocky smirk on his face steps in the ring. As he’s taking off his hat and vest Busta Capp attacks him from behind and the match is on. General manager Dicky Cravatte appears on the video screen and puts a stop to the match in mid brawl announcing the two will settle this at Brain Freeze in a street fight match !

- John L Skeleton and OOG two of the MITG qualifiers face off just one week before Brain Freeze. John L Skeleton dances around the ring landing crosses, hooks, and jabs while depending on his defensive skills to keep him in the match against the brute force of the unfrozen caveman. OOG gets the win with a PREHISTORIC PLUNGE.

- The MITB qualifying matches wrap up with Monkey Chan taking on The Amish Robot. Eep Eep tries to cost Monkey Chan the match again by tripping him but Monkey Chan recovers and gets the win and a spot in the MITB ladder match with a CHIMPANSTEINER. Eep Eep is so upset that he wasn’t able to cost Monkey Chan the match he flings huge handfuls of pooh in every direction

- The Oak Ridge Monster isn’t able to get much of anything going against the little inquisator Torquemada besides some kicks and few body slams. Lil Torquemada takes delight in inflicting pain with a variety of submission holds and delivering well placed heart punches. Lil Torquemada finishes the job with a conversion lock. The much smaller Torquemada pretty much owned The Oak Ridge Monster which was pretty hilarious to watch. Yet another disappointing performance from the Oak Ridge Monster. It’s hard to believe I once had high hopes for this guy
- After the match Johnny Satan emerges from a giant ball of flame and challenges Torquemada to a match at Brain Freeze with the stipulation that if Satan wins Torquemada will become his servant and if you Torquemada wins Satan will leave the W3 and never return . Always a man of few words Torquemada silently ponders the challenge for a few moments and then nods in agreement. I was wondering how long Johnny Satan was going to tolerate Lil Torquemada’s taunts of the last few weeks. It’s good to see old scratch acting like himself again.

Quick Results
Artemis Jubblies def Cap’n Bootilicious **
Octopus Johnson def Sheik Yerbouti (MITB Qualifying Match) **
OOG defeats John L Skeleton **
Monkey Chan def Amish Robot **1/2 (MITB Qualifying Match) **
Lil Torquemada def Oak Ridge Monster *
Thunderball def Mona Mammeries(non title) ***
Frankenpuss def Flex Manley (non title) ***

[todd]

W3
Presents
Brain Freeze

Street Fight

Busta Capp vs. Buddy Hotpants

Johnny Satan vs. Lil Torquemada
* With special stipulation that if Satan wins Torquemada
Becomes his servant and if Torquemada wins Satan will be banished from the W3

MITB Ladder Match

John L Skeleton vs. Johnny Gizmo vs. OOG vs. Octopus Johnson vs. Monkey Chan

W3 Ladies Title Match

Thunderball VS Mona Mammeries

Table, Ladders, And Chairs Match
For The
Ultimate Title

Frankenpuss W/ Doctor Mutato vs. Flex Manley[/center]

[Kelly Monro]

Man the creativity here is outrageous! I totally dig it. Keep it up!

[todd]

W3
Presents
Brain Freeze

Street Fight
Busta Capp vs. Buddy Hotpants
Busta Capp comes out at the opening bell catching Buddy Hotpants off guard with gat hand slaps and hit’s quick DDT. Hotpants recovers and delivers a turnbuckle leg splitter before going to work on Busta Capp with a loaded glove to the face. The action spills outside the ring where after exchanging a few chair shots Busta Capp gets the upper hand by slamming Hotpants head first into the ring post next Busta Cap ties Hotpants in the ring ropes and pulls out a baseball bat. Busta Capp is about start swinging for the fences when Hotpants lands series of boots to the stomach and manages to pull himself free. Hotpants goes on to give Busta Capp a pretty thorough beating and spells out the letters YMCA with his arms before finishing the job with a VILLAGE PEOPLE’S ELBOW
Winner Buddy Hotpants in 11:00 via Village People’s Elbow **

Johnny Satan W/ Suzy Succubus vs. Lil Torquemada
* With special stipulation that if Satan wins Torquemada
Becomes his servant and if Torquemada wins Satan will be banished from the W3
This match starts off slow paced and resembles an old school 20th century match with both men locking the other in submission holds that seem to last forever. Johnny Satan breaks the monotony with a tilt a whirl backbreaker followed by a demon bomb for a two count. Torquemada cant quite seem to get anything going after that and goes down for the count with a BEALZE BOMB becoming Johnny Satan’s servant
Winner Johnny Satan in 15:40 via Bealze Bomb**½

MITB Ladder Match
John L Skeleton vs. Johnny Gizmo vs. OOG vs. Octopus Johnson vs. Monkey Chan
Octopus Johnson makes the first move for the ladder after delivering a suction cup slam on Johnny Gizmo. Johnson doesn’t get far before Gizmo pulls him off making the save. Monkey Chan takes down OOG with a running clothesline and picks up the ladder. OOG recovers and the two struggle for possession of the ladder. OOG wins by smashing Monkey Chan in the face with the ladder. OOG is able to set up the ladder and starts to climb. John L Skeleton and Octopus Johnson team up to make the save by pulling OOG down by the ankles.

Next we see Johnny Gizmo blindside John L Skeleton with a jumping kick and deliver a flying cross body which sends both Gizmo and Skeleton over the top rope. Skeleton hits the concrete so hard he breaks apart into a pile of bones from the impact. Back inside the ring Monkey Chan is on fire taking down Octopus Johnson with a enzuigiri and delivering a face buster on OOG. With everyone down and out Monkey Chan seizes the opportunity and goes up the ladder almost getting to the top before Eep Eep shows up shaking Chan off the ladder and sending him outside the ring.

Monkey Chan is out cold as Johnny Gizmo makes it back in the ring to make it a three way battle. Octopus Johnson begins to climb up the ladder but OOG pulls him down and tosses him out of the ring. OOG starts to climb with Gizmo on his back in a piggyback sleeper. Octopus Johnson comes back in the ring and smashes a chair across the back the unfrozen caveman multiple times taking out Gizmo but only temporarily slowing down OOG. Johnson and OOG race each other up the ladder but reach the top at the same time. Octopus Johnson and OOG exchange blows with neither man giving an inch until OOG gives Johnson a cro magnon head butt knocking him off the ladder. OOG reaches up and grabs the briefcase !
Winner OOG in 20:45 ***1/2

W3 Ladies Title Match
Thunderball vs. Mona Mammeries
Thunderball goes after the W3 right from the opening bell delivering a pair of atomic drops and a getting a quick pin attempt with VITAMEATAVIGIM. Thunderball doesn’t let up and continues the assault with knife edge chops and knee strikes in the corner. Everyone in the arena is sure that Mona Mammeries is done for when she suddenly turns the tide of the match with a very high kick. Mammeries follows up with a over the shoulder hold into a
Sit down power bomb for the win
Winner Mona Mammeries in via THANKS FOR THE MAMMERIES
- Afterword Thunderball takes the loss hard and throws a tantrum in the middle of the ring, rips the belt out of the hands of referee Jack Schlappe, and runs back to the locker room with Mona Mammeries close behind
Winner Mona Mammeries in 14:12 via THANKS FOR THE MAMMERIES **

Ultimate Title Match
Frankenpuss W/ Doctor Mutato vs. Flex Manley
Frankenpuss goes right to work on the W3 Champion with clubbing blows and a whip through a table set up in the corner. Frankenpuss doesn’t continues the attack with a gorilla press backbreaker and a pump handle over the shoulder bomb. Manley looks like he’s in real trouble until he reverses a scoop slam and clobbers Frankenpuss with a meaty fist. Manley retrieves a ladder from outside the ring but before setting it up Manley uses it as battering ram to the stomach of Frankenpuss. Manley begins the climb up the ladder getting about halfway before Frankenpuss kicks the ladder knocking Manley back down to the canvas. Frankenpuss recovers and drags Manley outside the ring and putting him through a table with a power slam. Frankenpuss sets up the ladder in the center of the ring almost making it to the top before Manley comes off the top turnbuckle with a chair shot across the back. Manley delivers a gut wrench power bomb and flex plex before reaching the top of the ladder and grabbing the Ultimate Title Belt.
Winner Flex Manley in 15:56

Quick Results

Buddy Hotpants def Busta Capp **
Johnny Satan def Lil Torquemada **1/2
OOG - MITB match winner ****
Mona Mammeries def Thunderball **
Flex Manley def Frankenpuss ***

[Dr B]

Todd-
Ultra exciting stuff!Great matches!

Dr B

[todd]

Thanks for the comments Kelly and Doctor B

[todd]

W3
REPORT

We’ll start off with a review of this month’s pay per view Brain Freeze

Street Fight Match Buddy Hotpants def Busta Capp - The point of this match seemed to be just because Buddy Hotpants sits next to Undercover Alien every week at the announce table he can still kick some ass. Big deal let’s move on

Special Stipulation Match Johnny Satan def Lil Torquemada - Instead of seeing a much anticipated blood bath we get Strangler Lewis vs. Frank Gotch. I don’t know what the W3 was thinking but they really blew it. Hopefully they’ll think twice before booking a match like this again.

MITB Ladder Match - Best match of the pay per view by far. My money was on Johnny Gizmo but would have been cool with any one of the five winning the MITB contract which is the way it should be for this type of match. OOG walking around with a MITB contract is pretty funny considering he’s billed as a Neanderthal from the year one million BC

W3 Title Matches - I don’t think anyone honestly thought that the W3 would take the belts off Mona Mammeries and Flex Manley so soon. Both matches were decent though.
the Ladies title match established Mona as the type who could be put down but not taken out and Thunderball as unstable and crazy which could lead to some interesting storylines. The goddess of wrestling Artemis Jubblies looked strong in her W3 debut last week and could add another dynamic to this battle for the W3 ladies title. Flex Manley vs. Franken puss (TLC) was a solid main event match. I think the W3 plans to get a lot of mileage out of this feud so don’t be surprised to a see a rematch or two in the coming months.

Other News -
John L Skeleton will be out indefinitely due to the injury at Brain Freeze that left him broken into 206 pieces. Rumor is the W3 is over selling the injury to allow John L Skeleton some time off in order to compete on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. The W3 reportedly put out a large amount of cash to sign the Magic Mushroom Shiitake Jr. and were not happy when Sheik Yerbouti no showed his dark match against the Japanese star at Brain Freeze. Sheik Yerbouti reportedly was upset about his dark match status and stayed out all night partying. Pug Ugly Pillchard has been tearing up the independent circuit around his home town of Myrtle Creek Oregon and was more than happy to sign a contract with W3 owner Phineas Phatback during a recent scouting mission. Due to personal commitments Abraham Lincoln X turned down an offer to return to the W3 full time but has agreed to come back on a part time basis. An anonymous source confirmed that during a recent meeting Phineas Phatback and business manager No Face agreed to create a W3 secondary title maybe as soon as this month

[Kelly Monro]

Man, the write-up is hilarious! I really dig your style! You know what you are doing and I hope you continue with some great cards!

[todd]

Apr 4, 2011 4:12:10 GMT -5 Kelly Monro said:

Man, the write-up is hilarious! I really dig your style! You know what you are doing and I hope you continue with some great cards!

Thanks Kelly this is something I've wanted to do for years

[WTIC]

AWEsome fed, dude!

Looks like you're having fun with the write-ups and stuff!

Any chance we will see your own creations in this fed soon?

[todd]

Apr 5, 2011 22:07:30 GMT -5 WTIC said:

AWEsome fed, dude!

Looks like you're having fun with the write-ups and stuff!

Any chance we will see your own creations in this fed soon?

I'm working on the one I told you about when I'm not busy playing. I have another idea for a cousin of Inbred Red that looks like Clint Howard