HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION
HWA Arena; Deimos, Mars
February 28, 2125
(The camera opens up to a cell door. The camera pans in through the small window and Val Kira rushes to the door.)
VAL KIRA
Let me out of here, [censored]!
VALKYRIE CELL GUARD
Be quiet in there! When the All-Father’s ready to see you, then we’ll let you out!
VAL KIRA
Odin can go to Hel, and so can you! I’m not staying here forever! (Val Hailey enters the room with the cell.)
VAL HAILEY
Father’s ready. Bring her.
(The camera fades out, and then fades back in to the HWA Arena, where HWA play-by-play commentator Austin Williams sits at the announcer’s table.)
AUSTIN WILLIAMS
Welcome fans to another episode of the Heavenly Wrestling Association. As you can tell from our video feed, it looks like Val Hailey made good on her vow last night when she said she was going to bring Val Kira back to Asgard to face Odin. We’re going to keep checking back on this story throughout the night, but for now, let’s get to our first match.
* Bayne made Dewie Cheatham submit to the BAYNE-BREAKER.
* Alison Chainz made Colly Flower submit to No Excuses.
* Harvard Yale pinned Epsilon Beta with the IVY LEAGUE.
* The TNT Boyz defeated Road-Rayge when Terry pinned Rayge with the C-4.
* Slap Stick pinned Billy B. when Billy missed a running shoulder tackle attempt in the corner.
*The Killer Whales defeated Surf’s Up when Body Glove was counted out.
(The camera fades out and fades back in to a giant banquet hall. Odin the All-Father sits at the center of a long table. Val Kira is led into the banquet hall by the cell guard. Her arms are bound behind her back by a metal manacle which is secured to a metal collar on her neck.)
ODIN
Bring her before me. (Val is brought to the table and forced to kneel.) Daughter Kira, you’ve been brought before me to answer for your crimes.
VAL KIRA
[censored]!
ODIN
Watch your tongue, or I’ll silence it for you. You stand before me charged with 294 counts of murder, uncountable counts of failure to perform your born duties, 1 count of having a romantic relationship with a deceased soul whom
you were supposed to bring to Val Halla, and 1 count of bringing said deceased soul back to life. How do you answer for your charges?
VAL KIRA
This is my answer,
Father! (All of a sudden, fire and smoke erupts around Val Kira. When it clears, she has disappeared!)
ODIN
Don’t let her escape! Find her and bring her back! And find whoever it was that helped her to escape! (Every warrior, including Val Hailey, scrambles to leave the room and search for Val Kira, except for Loki, who stands behind a curtain, smirking. Odin, sensing this, turns towards Loki.) You helped my daughter escape! What manner of treachery is this?!
LOKI
Treachery? No, Father, there’s no treachery. I’ve only given her everything she wants, for a price.
ODIN
What have you given her and what price has she paid.
LOKI
She wanted to live her life as a wrestler with the life of that soldier restored, that’s what I’ve given her. All she had to do was to give up her life as a Valkyrie and become a normal mortal woman. And when her mate dies, she’ll die as well, for their life forces have been fused together as one. Therefore, if you want Kira to die, you must kill her mate. In the same regard, if you want her mate to join the honored dead in Val Halla, you must kill Kira. Quite a bargain, I’d say.
ODIN
So be it. As long as Kira never attempts to return to Asgard or Val Halla, she will happily live her life with her mate as a mortal woman. As far as I’m concerned, Kira is no longer my daughter. Find Hailey and bring her to me.
LOKI
Yes, Lord Odin. Loki runs out of the great hall as the camera fades out and fades back in to the HWA Arena.)
AUSTIN WILLIAMS
Well, it looks like Val Kira has managed to escape from Asgard, but if she can manage to find her way back to the HWA, she’ll return as a mortal woman. But what about Val Hailey? What will Odin decide to do with her? We’ll keep you abreast of this story as it develops. For now, let’s get on to our next match-up.
* Aphrodi-Tina pinned Halle Burton with the BOOK OF LOVE.
* Herman Glopp is still the HWA Tri-Planetary champion when he pinned Devil’s Reject with the Pearl Harbor Bomb.
* Bootylicious Bertha pinned Abercrombie [censored] when she rolled through a deathjump cross body block attempt.
* Ambrosia is still the HWA Ladies champion when she pinned Demiah the Devil’s Daughter with a hurricanrana.
And in the main event, the Annihilators successfully defended the HWA Tag Team titles by defeating the Progressives when Pthalos pinned Guy-Koh with the IMMINENT DESTRUCTION.
(The camera fades out one final time and fades back into the great hall, where Loki brings Val Hailey before Odin and his son Thor.)
VAL HAILEY
Loki, I don’t know what trick you’re dreaming up, but I’ve no time for this. I must find and bring Kira back.
ODIN
Silence, daughter! You’ve done well bringing Kira home, despite the fact that she’s escaped, but Loki’s taken measures to ensure that she’ll never return to Asgard or Val Halla again.
VAL HAILEY
What have you done, Loki?
ODIN
As a condition of her escape, Loki has taken away Kira’s immortality and allowed her soldier mate to live once again. They’ll live out their lives as mortal beings, but their life forces are now and forever intertwined, so if one dies, the other dies. You will return to the Heavenly Wrestling Association and keep an eye on Kira wherever she goes, and you will make sure that she never attempts to return to Asgard or Val Halla as long as she lives.
VAL HAILEY
Yes, Father. It shall be done, but if I may be allowed to ask a favor of you?
ODIN
I know what’s in your heart, Hailey. You’ve found the appeal in Kira’s newly-chosen life, and wish to remain in the HWA as a wrestler, as well, am I correct?
VAL HAILEY
Yes, Father. I would like to stay in the HWA as a wrestler until the day that Kira dies, and then I shall return to Val Halla and resume my duties as a born Valkyrie.
ODIN
So be it, daughter. But remember that you are forbidden to fall in love.
VAL HAILEY
Would that really be so bad, Father? Is it really Kira’s rebellion spreading throughout the sisters that you fear, or could it be that Kira’s rebellion is really the start of an evolutionary change in us that you fear?
ODIN
For that insolence, daughter, you too, shall be stripped of your immortality! (A bolt of force shoots forth from Odin’s blind eye and strikes Val Hailey.) Get thee from my sight! (Val Hailey disappears from the great hall in a puff of smoke.)
THOR
At the risk of facing your wrath, Father, Hailey may be right about Kira. She may very well be the beginnings of an evolutionary change in the Valkyries. Since the beginning of time, they’ve been born and bred for one purpose and one purpose only, but perhaps now they’re beginning to feel they want more out of their lives than to be nothing more than pall bearers for the heroes who’ve fallen in battle.
ODIN
And what would become of the children of those Valkyries who wish to follow Kira’s example and those mortals whom they’re supposed to bring to Val Halla when they die. I’ve seen on countless worlds as well as Earth that half-breed children, regardless of race, are ostracized and sometimes even killed for nothing more than the fact that neither race will accept them. What do you think would happen to half-god children? Would you wish the same tragic fate befall upon them, as well?
THOR
I don’t know, Father, but your daughters cannot deny their deep-seeded feelings forever. Eventually, they will want to fall in love and take mates of their own.
ODIN
You’ve given me much to think about and perhaps someday I’ll restore Hailey’s immortality, but for now, it has been a long day, and I must rest.
(The camera fades to black)
HEAVENLY WRESTLING ASSOCIATION RANKINGS
As of February 28, 2010
HWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: King Kobra
HWA TRI-PLANETARY CHAMPION: Herman Glopp
1. Victor E.
2. Flexicon
3. Devil’s Reject
4. Big Poppa Roach
5. Dingo
6. Gangurru
7. Hurricane
8. Scott Creed
9. Ugly Coyote
10. Warren Peace
HWA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ANNIHILATORS (Pthalos & Krogon)
1. KILLER WHALES (Orca & Willy)
2. PROGRESSIVES (A-Flack & Guy-Koh)
3. DESTRUCTIVE FORCES (Volcano & Tornado)
4. ROAD-RAYGE (Roadkill & Rayge)
5. SURF’S UP (Body Glove & Ray-Ban
6. ARK ANGEL (Michael & Gabriel)
7. TNT BOYZ (Tracey & Terry)
8. SAMOAN VICE SQUAD (S’Nunu & Tika)
9. DEADLY SINS (Levi-Ethan & B.L. Zebob)
HWA LADIES CHAMPION: Ambrosia
1. Bootylicious Bertha
2. Pearl E. Gates
3. Demiah the Devil’s Daughter
4. Aphrodi-Tina
5. Abercrombie [censored]
6. Lucy Kannin
7. Holly Pena
8. Val Kira
9. Val Hailey
10. Halle Burton
HWA LADIES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ESTHER-JENN (Esther & Jenn)
1. QUEEN BEES (Beatrice & Beulah)
2. WALK OF FAME (Barbie Blaze & Holly Wood)
3. JACKSON JILLS (Peppermint Patty & Julie)
4. EVERYTHING NICE (Sugah & Spyce)
5. C&C CONNECTION (Chandra & Carissa)
6. ‘NUFF’S ENOUGH (Justine & Tuffy Nuff)
7. SISTERS OF PAIN (Jenna Love & Debbie Hate)